1. |
The Iceberg Hits
05:30
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Ooh will you fight me
stranger on the street who wants to bite me
run away, leg it to the nearest pub
and drink, drink, do your thing
do it for the Queen and future King
then go outside
randomly attack a person
then go home
and cry a bit
then get a plastic bag
and put it
on your head
until your face is red and
then you'll find
before you suffocate you will go blind
it's really fun
maybe you can masturbate at the same time
they say that doing that will make you blind
unwind
and listen to some ambient music
you deserve it
because you're worth it
you deserve it
because you're worth it
Oh shit now the iceberg hits
Oh shit now the iceberg hits
Oh shit now the iceberg hits
Will you dig holes and dance around them with me?
Will you dig holes and dance around them with me?
Will you dig holes and dance around them with me?
Everyone knows the devil dances
Come tango
Come tango with me
Come tango with me
Come tango
Come tango with me
Come tango with me
Everyone's a motherfucker
Everyone's a cheat
but it really doesn't matter
when yer nimble on yer feet
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2. |
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Hey mister
would you like to meet my sister
oops too late now you've kissed her
would you like to come and meet our parents
Trevor and Susan
they'll make dinner
you can look at the lino
then you can
get married and make some babies
buy a house and
talk with nice men
and women who
wear fresh suits
and go on sabbatical
find out about yourself
in India
My sister
likes you but she likes my friend
and you like me but
we don't say anything and we
sit at home and hate our friends
Sing hey dilly do
sing daffy down dilly
If the coffee's good we will survive
cos it is absolutely great to be alive you know and
Your mortgage
Has been absorbed into
your magazine subscriptions
your hobbies
have been eaten by the earth
you are swallowed by the ground
My sister
likes other things to do
than hang around with you
I've found
that she enjoys my company
you see
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3. |
A Cowboy Needs an iPhone
02:47
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Oh a cowboy needs an iPhone
to navigate through life
For the road ahead is painful
full of misery and strife
He needs communication
with the great big world outside
and to photograph his penis
for his lovely cowboy bride
Oh a cowboy needs an iPhone
when he's heading cross the land
oh a cowboy needs an iPhone
don't you dog gone understand?
Oh a cowboy needs a map app
when he's on the lonesome trail
for the navigate the landscape
without one you're bound to fail
he types in his co-ordinates
and says “Hi Ho Silver, Go!”
and he recommended SatNav
to everyone he know
Oh a cowboy needs a map app
when he's headin cross the range
oh a cowboy needs a map app
oh ain't it mighty strange
Oh a cowboy needs to Spotify
cross the long and lonely days
cause rememberin' all those cowboy songs
sends him into a daze
he can access all the music
from his days down on the farm
and he listens to the smooth jazz
when he needs to feel calm
Oh a cowboy needs to Spotify
when he's heading cross the land
oh a cowboy needs to Spotify
don't you dog gone understand?
Oh a cowboy needs Alexa
all her dang feminine charms
he would like to take that robut close
and hold her in his arms
and he'll ask her what the weather's like
and the meaning of life
and then when the singularity comes
he'll take her for his wife
Oh a cowboy needs Alexa
when he's heading cross the range
oh a cowboy needs Alexa
well ain't it mighty strange
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4. |
So So
03:17
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We will bring the bad things, dancing in
your office will be a den of sin
open up the cabinet, loosen your tie
the time has come for you to die
Look at all the bad things, grinning through
the semblance that you think is you
your Fairy liquid soul anew
a contractual residue
So So
Comme ci Comme Ca
So So
Comme ci Comme Ca
We have all the bad things, just for you
You're not anti-Semitic, you just don't like Jews
your spirit like a stale beer
paracetamol and codeine is the answer here
Watch the fire coming down
eating up your nice small town
oh what have the chapel learnt
when the tapestries are burnt
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5. |
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Oh dear
well ain't the weather fucking weird
shit it's
been going on an awful long
time why
are you out jogging in it
you say
it's really good to be outside
John and Sarah
drive a 4 x 4
and they exist 2 x 2
they might be animals
and John and Sarah
are really just like you
Why not drill a hole?
Fuck yeah
did you see the light outside
hellfire
it has been going all night
I like the
weather when it's tropical
why it's like that
is something rather topical
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6. |
Meconium Suicide
04:50
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I would rather
drink a beer with
Pol Pot than have
anything to
do with you
your conversation
leaves a lot to
be desired your
attitudes are
stupid and I
think you were born
underneath a
rock and you have
stayed there since you
first did squirt
into this world
Meconium suicide
Meconium suicide
Push too hard and
pull too hard what
have you learnt since
you came out from
underneath the rock
what shadows
have you cast
what items have you
bought what will you
get for Christmas
what will S atan bring you
darling boy now go
and chase the pigeons
darling boy now go
and chase the crows
One makes one
and two makes two
the schoolteacher
brings you out front
and hits you with
her rhythm stick
the pain it sears
but through the tears
you see the terrified
visage of crows
that you have chased around
and all the world feels better
and the searing pain is pleasant
go outside and hunt some pheasant
you're a grown up now
a big big boy
oh life it is enormous joy
Remember when
you smeared your shit
across the walls
and nice white shirts
were soiled
despoiled
your friends went home
and washed their shirts
but really it was always there
the stink you made
and so with pride
you beam and strut about
just like the pheasant
you were hunting
you're a big man now
make no mistake
you have it
and you eat your cake
and your first breath
you eat it too
and suicide
will make you new
yes suicide
will make you new
just suicide
will make you new
yes suicide
will make you new
Meconium suicide
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7. |
A Bottle Full of Salt
03:47
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My emerald before you go to sleep
there are one or two things I'd say to you
When you walk throughout the streets at night
don't you think it's fine, there's a hide behind
When people offer you up the truth take a
pinch of salt or a bottle full
There's wolves there scattered about the place
but they wear a mask of a human face
You'll grow up, maybe you'll get a job
and then you can hate all the things you do
My darling before you lay your head
Rewind
Fall behind
they can wait for you
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8. |
Mystic Meg
03:39
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Time and energy that you gave freely in the past pays off in the present
A magic meeting when you travel to a town built by a circular lake
Smile more, a fresh outlook on problems, solve a few
instead of behaving like dogs howling at the moon.
Empty of feelings your
true love can grow
if your heart is still free
then whatever your age
you must never miss breakfast
when all hope was fading
ambition burns brighter
to quiet tenderness then
your wheel of health needs a
really good push from
a lawyer with a most
unusual name
Especially when someone tries to put the squeeze on your emotions
There are signs your home lacks the serene colours
Making food in a special setting in a place linked with medicine
Soothe tension with mood balancing aromatherapy oils
You are about to share
in a strong, true love
that cancels out even the bitterest
of memories. If you are in
a relationship, then you
can really share love with
your partner if you both
turn from broken promises
and fantasy hopes
and focus on what is good between you.
And all of this happens because the world is waiting,
Waiting for one child
Black, white, yellow, no-one knows
But a child that will grow up and turn tears to laughter,
Hate to love, war to peace and everyone to everyone's neighbour
And misery and suffering will be words to be forgotten
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9. |
Paul Potts
05:33
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Paul Potts is a man
he lives in a flat
has sensible hair
and a very squat dog
who howls at the moon
Paul Potts does too
when there's nobody there
in the dead of night
then he trundles home
with his very squat dog
who resembles Paul Potts
put the meat in the bowl
and the meat on your plate
and together you dine
though you're putting on weight
you're a good fat boy
and everybody knows
your dog and you
Paul Potts, Scooby Doo
Paul Potts, Scooby Doo
Paul Potts at home
with the very squat dog
Paul Potts is squat
and eats a lot
and his dog does too
your dog and you
are a very nice pair
Paul Potts over there
is the place where you go
those times
when you need
to feed your gullet
sit with guys with mullets
play a little round of darts
join the conference of farts
you breathe the air
and your dog does too
and I think he likes it
more than you
though you like it too
get the dog a beer
insist you're not a queer
though if you're to be honest
many long lonely nights
you've thought that Richard Hammond
was a bit of alright
but that's for you
yes that's for you
and what's a boy to do
but dream and drink
and don't begin to think
it's far too late
at eleven o'clock
to think of anything
but parmo and your cock
and you itch at your junk
to some quite substandard funk
Paul Potts, someone saw!
But it's easy to ignore
Later on at home
Paul Potts, with your dog
who is very, very squat
the evening is hot
so you open the window
roll up your sleeves, and
check that your dog
isn't riddled with fleas
Paul Potts, when you sleep
will you dream and will your
dog dream too?
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10. |
Happy Happy
03:00
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Happy happy very very happy
what a cheeky face
what a cheeky face
what a cheeky face
happy happy very very happy
Look my happy face
Look my happy face
Fuck you all
and fuck you too
Happy happy Maria Von Trappy
Tell a nun to fuck off
Tell a nun to fuck off
Tell a nun to fuck off
Happy happy very very happy
Burning up the town
Burning up the town
Fuck you all and fuck you too
for you will be the
death of you
your happy times
are bright and new
Happy happy very very happy
Silly little fuck
Silly little fuck
Silly little
Happy happy very very happy
Watch it falling down
watch it falling down
Fuck you all
and fuck you too
Happy happy happy happy bitey
Gnashy little teeth
Gnashy little teeth
Gnashy little teeth
Happy happy we are all so bitey
Bite your happy face
Bite your happy face
Fuck you all and fuck you too
for you will be the
death of you
your happy times
are bright and new
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Ergo Phizmiz London, UK
Ergo Phizmiz is a composer, writer, collagist, radio-producer, homemade opera-maker, performer, and multimedia artist. His work has been received around the world to critical acclaim, but somehow still seems to annoy some folks to the point of violence. Such is life. More at www.ergophizmiz.net ... more
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